A college student was admitted to a medical center unconscious and unresponsive after using an alcohol enema at his fraternity house. Police don’t know what kind of alcohol was used in the enema, but figure it was probably vodka, straight up.
A British auction house tried to sell a pair of Elvis Presley’s blue unwashed underpants with a slight stain in the crotch for $16,000, but only got offered $8,000. That’s strange because it’s rumored that Bill Clinton paid more than that for a blue dress with a stain on it.
An 18-year-old college student was walking in New York when a mattress fell 30 stories from the roof of a building and landed on his head, causing him a sprained neck and a possible herniated disc. This story is not to be confused with earlier stories of Lindsay Lohan walking around LA with a mattress strapped to her back.
A man has been sent for six months of treatment at a mental hospital after being found high on bath salts, wearing women’s clothing, and sexually assaulting a pygmie goat which later died. Yeah, six months of therapy should totally cure him.