A Florida gynecologist claims to have found the actual G-spot in the female vagina and says that it has a “bluish, grape-like appearance”. Women are now afraid that they have something inside their bodies that looks like Wilford Brimley.

Khloe Kardashian said that her reality TV show “Khloe & Lamar” is not cancelled but just on hold due to her husband’s basketball schedule. This is sad news for devoted viewers who will have to find other spoiled brats to watch while they’re waiting for the show to start again.

Beyonce said she feels more beautiful than she’s ever felt because she’s given birth. Fans were saddened to hear that having stretch marks, flat feet and saggy breasts were an improvement on how she felt before giving birth.

Singer Neil Diamond just got married again at the age of 71. At the wedding he sang to his bride , “Hello, again hello. Who the hell are you?”

Jessica Simpson just had a baby girl and named her “Maxwell Drew” because naming her “Maxwell Smart” would have been too much for her to try to live up to.

The Department of Motor Vehicles in Virginia asked a man to return his vanity license plate that read “F.OSAMA” because the plate is “profane, obscene or vulgar” but not profane, obscene or vulgar enough to describe Osama bin Laden.

Egypt’s new Islamist-dominated parliament is preparing to introduce a law that would allow husbands to have sex with their wives up to six hours after their death. Some wives said it was OK if it meant they didn’t have to have sex with their husbands while they were alive.

Medical Fact: The average speed of human ejaculation is 28 miles per hour, or 25 if you are in a school zone.

A 28-year-old African man told police that he had sex with a cow because he was afraid he would contract AIDS from a human. Now the cow has herpes.

A Kansas man stuck his erect penis through the hole in a barbell and then had to go to the emergency room because he couldn’t get it off. He probably told the doctor it was a lunging accident.

A Pennsylvania machine shop worker admitted to regularly masturbating against a canvas drive belt after he accidentally leaned into it too closely one day and tore his scrotum. He tried to fix it himself with a heavy-duty stapler, but ended up having to go to a doctor. The doctor said repairing the scrotum was difficult, but not as bad as if he had used a soldering iron.

Jennifer Love Hewitt told Maxim magazine that her breasts are good and have always served her well. This is true because they’ve also served half of Hollywood.

A drunk Florida man called 911 because his wife was sitting next to him and wouldn’t let him look at Facebook alone in peace. Luckily for him, he’s now getting plenty of peace because he’s serving 60 days in jail for the misuse of 911.

A Michigan man in his 50′s or 60′s, who is described as “6 feet tall with a pot belly”, is being sought for 10 incidents of indecent exposure. The most recent incident was at a salon where he walked in dressed in a button-up shirt, baseball hat, slippers and nothing but sheer pantyhose on his lower body. One salon worker told him, “I can clearly see you’re nuts!”

A 61-year-old Thailand man was caught naked from the waist down, standing on a box behind an elephant, trying to have sex with it. He said the elephant was the reincarnation of his late wife. After seeing a picture of his late wife, lawmakers agreed about the resemblance but still gave him 15 years in jail.

Tabloids have reported that for her role in Les Miserables, Anne Hathaway has been on an extreme diet to lose 16 lbs in 20 days so that she can look the part of a dying prostitute. Hathaway’s reps say Anne is fine though, and dying prostitutes all over the world were relieved to hear that Anne is getting proper nutrition.

Ashton Kutcher just paid $200,000 for a seat on Richard Branson’s future Virgin Galactic space flight. It will be “One small step for Two and a Half Men, and one giant step for Branson’s bank account”.

Last month, actress Eva Longoria smashed her car into the car in front of her and this week smacked her car into a BMW behind her. Luckily the men she hit didn’t mind smacking into her front or her behind.

The April/May issue of Complex magazine’s “knock-out special edition” will show a picture of Justin Bieber taking a fake punch to the jaw and spewing out a mouthful of blood. The magazine intends to show how Justin can roll with the punches, but consumers will more likely feel their stomachs rolling.

Kim Kardashian was recently hit with a bag of flour as she walked down a red carpet. Charges are being pressed against the woman who threw the flour because Kim wasn’t properly dipped and rolled in egg batter first.

Tom Cruise is playing a long-haired rock star in the upcoming movie “Rock of Ages”, however because of his age, his biggest stunt on stage has been limited to jumping on the couch during a talk show interview.

Sexy heartthrob and cheating husband Ashton Kutcher will star in a new movie about Steve Jobs. Ashton will play Steve’s brother, Blo.

Five months after giving birth, Tori Spelling is pregnant again with her fourth child. It’s possible that this birth might include some emergency follow-up surgery though; doctors are considering sewing Tori’s legs together.

Mike Sorrentino, otherwise known as “The Situation” on Jersey Shore is in rehab for a prescription medication problem he says is due to exhaustion. Doctors can’t figure out though if he’s exhausted from lifting up his shirt all of the time to show off his chest, or just from trying to read his lines.

“The Hunger Games” has broken at least one box office record but that’s because many people thought it was a movie about America’s Next Top Model.

Alicia Silverstone pre-chews food for her 11-month-old son Bear Blu and then spits it into his mouth. What a coincidence! That story made me throw up a little into my own mouth!

Drew Barrymore appears to be pregnant but hasn’t yet made a public statement. Maybe she doesn’t want to make the announcement until after the baby’s cosmetic surgery is done.

In Zimbabwe, a gang of beautiful women is capturing men at gunpoint, then forcing them to take stimulants and have sex with them over and over to collect their sperm for good luck. The attacks started in 2009 but so far only 3 arrests have been made. This is because most of the victims never complained.

A California man has spent the last six years building a 62-inch, 175-lb ball of chewed-up nicotine gum. Ripley’s Believe It or Not will present it as the largest medicated gumball in the world and then spit it out on the sidewalk.

A Montreal company has invented raspberry-scented Scratch ‘n Sniff jeans. This is good because after you fart, you can scratch your butt and add a deli cious raspberry scent to the smell!

A 48-year-old man in Thailand has been breaking into houses and stealing women’s underpants for 30 years. He now has 10,000 pairs of women’s panties in his home, and 1,000 pairs in his car which he sniffs while driving. Now girls can understand why his voice always sounded so muffled when they talked to him on his cell phone.

Tom Cruise is going to star in a remake of the movie “Top Gun” even though he’s now 26 years older and may not even be tall enough to see over the steering wheel of a jet. It’s rumored that in the new movie, his seat will be fitted with a wooden-bead back support cover and his helmet will not display his old nickname of “Maverick” but instead will say “Ask Me About My Grandchildren!” The remake will be called “Top Gun 2″ or “Depends: Fully Loaded”.

Natural Cleaning Co. offers a ‘Gorgeous Staff’ that perform naked and semi-naked services including cleaners, lawyers, accountants, computer geeks and handy men. No word if they offer naked priests, rabbis, gynecologists, or proctologists though.

In Thailand, the book “Cooking with Poo” is up for “Strangest Book Title,” although the word “poo” means “crab” in Thai and also happens to be the nickname of the chef. Another coincidence is that the recipes taste like crap.

A 22-year-old naked man covered in chocolate and peanut butter was arrested for breaking into a Kentucky supermarket. Rumors are the peanut butter was creamy but he added his own nuts.

A Georgia woman fell down a garbage chute trying to catch the cell phone she dropped. She was rescued by the fire department and taken to the hospital. The saddest part is that it was all for a telemarketing call.

A Florida fortune-teller has gone to jail for fraud and tricking victims out of more than $2 million. Now she understands why she kept seeing vertical bars in her crystal ball.

An Indiana woman found white feathers in her McDonald’s Chicken McNugget but luckily no McBeak.

A Cape Cod urologist is offering a free pizza with every vasectomy in March. He figures it will help get men’s minds off of the recovery pain more than a free hot dog.

A California woman died last week of a self-inflicted chainsaw injury to her neck. This is what happens when poor women feel pressured to get a facelift.

A 45-year-old Colorado man working in a warehouse accidentally died when a 20-foot mound of pinto beans fell on him. After all efforts to save him were unsuccessful, rescuers gave up, poured salsa over the pile and stuck tortilla chips into the sides.

After wrongly predicting the end of the world twice, Harold Camping said he will no longer try to predict Judgment Day, and instead will now limit himself to predicting when his Totino’s Pizza Rolls will make the microwave go “Ding!”